Ah, Good Times.

Diet Coke now comes in a splenda version, damn isn't it about time? Personally I am a fan of the old school; but the close resemblance to real coke is striking. I found this out on the way to my first exam today, English 42: Movie Criticism, otherwise known as the best class in the whole world. Being experienced with the exam format, I expected a fairly straightforward exam period, a little typing, some bullshitting, and a quick exit. Yes, typing, because in this class, we use the SecureExam computer bluebook program. Basically a modified word window, it seems fairly stable and quite the effective method of test taking. Rolling along, I had completed 5 of the 10 questions, was feeling fairly confident, and was bordering on cocky assurance of a good exam knocked out early. I pressed the shift button to begin typing #6. Then, a friendly little window popped up, letting me know that an I/O error had occurred. Thank you little window, I appreciate the news. Now go away, I have more test to take. But after I closed the window, another came, this one much larger, informing me that an unauthorized shutdown of SecureExam Student Edition 4.01 had occurred. Ok...not so appreciative of this window, but I clicked the comforting "ok", expecting something to occur. Well, this prompted another window, and perhaps 4 of his friends, to begin an all-out orgy on my screen, followed by a strange fade to flat white. Needless to say, I was suprised and quite interested as to the nature of this computer malfunction, and also the condition that my half-completed exam was in. The hand went up, and my TA Maura came over; the look of amazment on her face let me know we were out of regular exam territory. We quickly proceeded to the front of the room, where Todd Taylor the professor stood. After taking a look at the computer, he called for a cellphone, "we need the ATN guy". Oh great, ATN, they always take care of the problems. Well in this case, I should not have been so pessimistic, the guy that came was the overall administrator for the bluebook program on campus. While all this excitement is going on, everyone else is writing answers, and obviously, the clock is still ticking away. Todd handed me a bluebook, and said, Just start writing. Yes! yes yes yes, just what I wanted to do, write all the shit I already typed over again. With my shitty mechanical pencil, which was the only writing utensil Left in the backpack of devastation...Great. I return to my desk, to sympathetic looks all around from the group I sit with. I begin to bust out answers, fast. Superfast. Like handcramp fast. Here comes the ATN man, does he have my computer fixed? No, he just needs my password, because he has finally discovered how to restart the computer. This is going so well. Still busting out answers, its now 2:00. The exam ends at 3, and although I am fairly positive I have a case for extended time, my hand is reaching the point of complete failure. Again the man returns, he needs the password one more time. Restart again. He's now in the back row, my hopes are rising. He returns one more time, this time he has it fixed. However, the program is gone, now I'm in Oldschool word, my computer is running in some strange safe mode, and my wonderful background, "Marissa Miller-Swimsuit Edition" has been replaced by a flat red screen. But no worries, I quickly bang out the last 5 answers, still finish before 3. I call over Mr. ATN, to see what I should do with this random word file. He takes it on his little USB memory key; but not before giving me a look of utter amazement and saying, "hey man, I didn't want to say this before you finished, but i just wanted to let you know. That's the hardest thing I've ever had to do with a computer. I'm amazed it worked out." He awkwardly patted my shoulder, with a look of exhausted pride, like a man who had just conquered his own personal Everest. I said thanks, not really sure what else to say, since I'm sure he realizes that he held my exam life in his hands like an open-heart surgeon. He says, "hope you don't have any more exams after this, that would be rough as hell." Well actually, I have two. "Oh, well, good luck man."
That's right folks, it never goes normally around here. But in the end it was pretty damn funny (after I had sweated and cramped up my hand), and the Diet Coke with spenda, well, its the shit.